


Fallen Into Place

by trashfortwice



Series: Fix You [2]
Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medical, F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, smut at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashfortwice/pseuds/trashfortwice
Summary: As Mina recovers, she is faced with a new challenge -- herself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part II of Fix You.
> 
> I really don't know how to make summaries and titles. Forgive me.
> 
> Thank you again for all the positive comments and feedback from Part I. I'm glad to be able to share this story with the general anon public haha! Also, if you're a new reader, please check out Part I. Otherwise, this may not make much sense lol. Don't worry! The chapters are relatively short. :)
> 
> Part II is kind of sad and also kind of spicy haha! I'm sorry in advance for the conflicting emotions. I hope you like it and continue to support this story! Comments, feedback and constructive criticism are much appreciated!
> 
> Also, I've received comments saying I should post this on asianfanfics and I will. I just need to figure out how to maneuver the site lol I don't even know how to use AO3 haha! Just making it up as I go.
> 
> [EDIT 1]: Hi! I've set up an asianfanfics account with this story in there. I'm still testing the waters and site is weird (for me). I've also set up a separate Twitter account if you want me to update from there as well. I might include some short stories and whatever. Follow me @trash_for_twice on Twitter!

Three weeks had passed since the accident and Mina was already up and running (or more like walking slowly). She had gone through a few physical therapy sessions since her knee was injured but she insisted she was fine. Chaeyoung made sure she went through each session though.

_ “I’m too busy, Chaeng,” Mina said as she violently typed on the keyboard. _

_ Chaeyoung lowered the laptop monitor, “No PT means you can’t get better soon and that, in turn, means we can’t have sex because I don’t want to bust up your knee more than it already is.” _

_ Mina pouted and Chaeyoung loved teasing her too much because she gave the most adorable pouts and expressions. Mina spun on her swivel chair to face away from Chaeyoung and mumbled, “I can still make you come with my hands tied behind my back.” _

_ “What was that?” _

_ “Nothing. Fine, let’s go.” _

The topic of their relationship was never brought back on the table. Perhaps they both agreed to put it on hold. Mina hated assumptions though she made far too many in her lifetime. Just like this one. She assumed everything was fine. For the time being, until the topic would resurface, everything would be fine.

No one questioned Mina about who Chaeyoung was since her presence in the hospital became more apparent and more frequent. Of course, no one dared to ask Mina nor gossip behind her back. Questions were rather directed to her surgery team who had not spoken to Mina at length since that night as she had been sitting out of surgeries due to her injuries.

They would see each other in the hallways, ask how Mina was doing and then proceed to go about their own ways. Tzuyu had transferred to another surgery team for the meantime by Mina’s directive. She couldn’t let her stay stagnant while she recovered.

“Hey,” Jihyo entered Mina’s office after a soft knock she barely heard, “we need to talk.”

“Sure,” Mina said as she set her pen down.

“I heard you accepted the surgery for Mrs. Kang. Mina, you don’t have to, you know? There are other doctors who are more than equipped with the skills to--”

“I’m fine. I can do it. It’s a complicated procedure,” Mina said coldly.

“That’s exactly why. Mina, I’m asking you as a friend to please reconsider. I know you’re not 100% back... Mina, you’ve been too distant since the car crash. I’m afraid of what is running through that brilliant mind of yours. Have you talked to anyone about it?”

The look on Jihyo’s face was full of concern and Mina felt it. Jihyo had always genuinely cared for her people which was what made her such a good leader. She was also stern and strict when needed. But she had a soft spot for Mina, which she never abused in any sense. But just this once.

“That’s exactly why, Jihyo,” Mina repeated Jihyo’s words with a smirk, “I’m okay. Believe me. You really shouldn’t worry about me, Jihyo, you have better things to do.”

“Minari… Whatever it is you need, I'm here for you, alright?" Jihyo held Mina’s hand and the familiar warmth brought back the memories of their school days, to a much simpler time when she didn’t care about saving people’s lives or whether she loved a girl enough to call her a “girlfriend” or whether she was mentally and physically fit to perform open heart surgery.

"I need you not to worry about me."

Jihyo nodded and walked away reluctantly, her back against Mina, “I won’t stop you,” she scoffed, “I never could.”

*

“Glad to have you back, Mi-tan,” Sana said as she washed her hands before the surgery.

“You’re just glad Tzuyu is back,” Mina joked but Sana couldn’t keep the smile from her eyes at the thought of her junior joining the team once again.

“You know, it’s a wonderful miracle that you didn’t get hurt so bad in the accident. I was afraid of a  _ Doctor Strange  _ incident coming to life,” Sana said, “Though it wouldn’t really hurt if you took a break, Mi-tan.”

The number of people telling her to take a break had just about reached its breaking point. Of course, they had their best interests at heart. But she didn’t need it. And, no, she wouldn’t blow up at Sana, who wore the cutest smile. Whoever dared hurt her would get a beating from Mina herself.

“I get that a lot,” Mina said, going straight into the operating room, “Shall we?”

Mrs. Kang was brought into the room, shaking a bit. Mina explained the procedure calmly once more before they began. Momo applied the anesthesia and checked the vital signs on the monitor before giving them the go signal. 

With the scalpel in her hand, Mina began the incision, the blood peeking out of her skin. She was never usually bothered by the scent of the operating room. But today the smell of rust hurt her nose. The flash of light and imminent darkness came to mind. The glass shattering in front of her and the pain pierced her side. She stood frozen in the moment.

“Mina,” Dahyun called, “Mina."

She shook her head, throwing the thoughts to the ground, “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

She nodded and breathed heavily. She looked at the incision once more and paused, not entirely sure what came over her. Looking up, she met Jihyo’s concerned eyes. Worry probably swept over her mind.

_ I can do this. Don't let people worry. _

And so she started. Everything was going smoothly now. She focused on the operation at hand. Making quick yet careful cuts and stitches. Her precision and accuracy were unparalleled. It was always a pleasure to watch Mina work. Students and doctors alike stood by the viewing area, always in awe of her masterful hands and the way she managed her team.

Today was just like any other day for everyone else, except for Mrs. Kang and Mina.

_ This is just like any other operation before. _

The smell of blood made her sick. The sight of it was disgusting. Her fingers knuckle deep in this woman's chest trying to fix her. She couldn't even fix herself.

Blood spewed across her face suddenly. She flinched and closed her eyes. The acids were building up her throat. Her vision blurred. Dahyun was quick to cover up the mishap. She met Mina's eyes that pleaded for her to take over. Mina didn't need to say it for Dahyun to instruct Sana and Tzuyu on the procedures.

"We're almost done. Just a little misstep. Sorry, it's my fault," Dahyun said.

"It's my fault for trusting you," Mina said as she finished up the stitches.

"Mina!" Sana jerked.

"No, it's fine," Dahyun hushed Sana.

Mina felt the tears pool in her eyes. She didn't even know why she started crying. Frustration? Anger? Fear? She checked the figures on the monitor and cut the thread and removed her gloves.

"Please finish up for me, Dahyun. Good work, team. Let's discuss tomorrow."

Mina sped out of the operating room and ran to the bathroom. She slammed the cubicle door shut and locked it, hoping she didn't damage it with her force. Her lunch started surfacing up and she slumped her head over the toilet, releasing what she tried so hard to keep under.

The scent of vomit and stomach acids made everything worse. The world was spinning and she closed her eyes, gripping her stomach as more unidentified mixture came gushing out. Mina panted heavily and flushed the toilet. Hopefully, that was the last of it. 

Good thing the bathroom floor was clean. She sat down and hugged her knees, burying her face.

_ What's wrong with me? _

The images of the night played back in her head. She had barely caught a glimpse of the truck driver. Just a split second. But enough for her to remember his face. A heavily built man, probably in his fifties, with tanned skin, probably from toiling under the sun. He had a long, graying beard and a classic truck driver hat. His eyes were wide probably from the shock. His face was tattooed in her mind like all her past patients. This time it was different.

Two pairs of footsteps entered the bathroom. How long had she been there?

"Mina?" Dahyun's voice was calm, collected, as if she wasn't just scolded by the very person she sought to comfort.

"Mi-tan," Sana said, "Hey, it's okay."

_ Stop saying that. Stop telling me it's okay.  _ Mina covered her ears, trying to drown out the thought in her head.

"I'm fine. Just… nauseous," Mina stood up slowly, her legs shaking. She held onto the cubicle partitions. Mustering up the strength and courage, she opened the door, "Dahyun, I'm sorry I lashed out on you. That was unprofessional and uncalled for."

The two women looked at each other and then at Mina with pained expressions. 

"Mi-tan, we think you need to see someone… like a psychiatrist or something," Sana said. She looked like she was about to cry, "You're not the same. And today just… it proved to us that you're not doing so well. Not as a surgeon. But… but as a person. You're struggling to cope… and we can see that. Mi-tan, we care about you so much and as much as it hurts you, it hurts us too. We want you to get better."

Mina didn't meet their eyes. It would be easier to say something harsh and mean. It would be easier to brush them off. No, push them away. She was fine. She could handle things on her own.

"I understand and I'll consider it," Mina said in a flat tone.

"Goddamn it, Mina! Stop lying!" Dahyun yelled, shocking everyone. She had always been so reserved at work, only turning on her loud side outside of the hospital. This was an entirely new Dahyun, "You are traumatized by what happened! I saw it today! I saw it when you looked at me! I saw the pain in your eyes… you couldn't do it. You couldn't look at the blood, at your patient. So, get off your high horse and get help… because… because we hate seeing you like this. And I know you hate feeling this way."

Dahyun started crying and so did Sana. Mina wondered how she got herself into this mess. Should she just slowly shuffle away and leave the two?

"I will. I really will consider it. I promise, Dahyun," Mina said as she walked away.

Guilt and shame washed over her.

*

Mina lay awake that night, thinking about what had transpired earlier. She sat up and buried her face in her hands, crying quietly so as not to wake Chaeyoung up. Looking at the younger woman sleeping soundly by her side, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve the love Chaeyoung had for her. She was so pure and her love so unconditional.

The idea of hurting Chaeyoung was unforgivable. She couldn't believe she actually hurt her so much the night of the accident. She wondered if she had hurt her every day after that. Did Chaeyoung feel sorry for her? Is that why she stayed all this time? Mina wondered if she would leave her when she got better, when her physical therapy sessions were over. Maybe it was better if Chaeyoung did leave. She deserved better.

"Hey," Chaeyoung's arms found Mina's waist, holding on tightly, her sleepy voice resounding near her ears. She must have heard her crying, "Babe, what's wrong?"

Mina didn't like pet names but the way Chaeyoung called her "Babe" was irresistible.

"Nothing," Mina said, her voice evening out after the crying session.

"Mina…"

_ Please don't bring things up again. I can't handle this right now. _

Chaeyoung planted light kisses on Mina's shoulder. She coaxed her to turn her body around to face her. Her smile was so genuine and beautiful despite the darkness, the only light came from the city outside, just giving enough brightness to make her glow. She held Mina's face in her hands to keep her steady and grounded. To make sure Mina was in the same earth as her.

"You mean the world to me…"

_ Please don't say that. _

"You can talk to me about anything…"

_ No, I can't. I don't know how. _

"I'm right here. I'll be whatever you need…"

_ I need you… but I don't deserve you, Chaeng. _

"Mina, I love you," Chaeyoung said as she kissed Mina softly. Was this a dream? Having Chaeyoung by her side, kissing her lips in the darkness. Caressing her body. Feeling every inch of her skin under her fingertips.

She didn't deserve this. It was a privilege to be loved by Chaeyoung. But Mina felt she was abusing the kindness the world had given her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for all the lovely comments! I finally decided to set up an account on asianfanfics after reading your suggestions and I posted Chapter 1 of this series. The site's a bit messy for me. We'll see how it goes.

"Good morning, Mina."

"Good morning, Dr. Yoo."

"Have a seat please. You can call me, Jeongyeon," she said. The air in the room was strangely fresh, must have been the aromatherapy diffuser she set up. The sound of Jeongyeon's voice was soothing. The combination should have put Mina at east. Jeongyeon asked, "So, what brings you here?"

Mina sat upright on the divan, finding it difficult to find comfort in front of a doctor who was about to psychoanalyze her very existence.

"I've been told you're the best."

"That's far from the truth. I could say the same thing about you. Tell me why you decided to see me?"

_ And so the psychoanalysis begins. _

"What do you need to know?"

"Everything, really."

"You have to be more specific," Mina insisted and Jeongyeon started writing down notes, "Wait, what are you writing?"

"Observations," Jeongyeon said in a neutral tone. Mina fidgeted in her seat, wondering what kind of gestures she had been making and what they meant. Was she touching her hair too much? Playing with the hem of her shirt? Scratching that dry patch of skin on her hand?

"I’m here as a favor to my friends. No offense, but I don't think this will help me. Everyone has been telling me to see you. So this is more like an obligation to them.”

"You don't owe anyone your mental health," Jeongyeon said while looking straight into Mina's eyes. She might as well have been drilling into her soul. Mina couldn’t help but look away, "Mina, why did people tell you to come see me then? Did they notice a change in your behavior?"

"You should be questioning them then, huh?"

Mina didn’t like the way she was acting. It was unlike her to be so mean and sarcastic and rude. It wasn’t because she didn’t respect Jeongyeon or psychiatrists in general (though she wouldn’t have taken the practice herself), she just didn’t like the idea of laying herself bare for anyone, especially a stranger who could and most likely would tell her she was clinically mentally unstable.

"Did you notice a change in yourself?"

She thought about it before answering. The operation on Mrs. Kang, how she panicked, how she lashed out on Dahyun. All the nights she spent crying until her eyes ran out of tears. She thought about how she rejected anyone's attention and care when the accident would be brought up or when she was too quiet, swimming aimlessly in her own thoughts.

"No."

"You really shouldn’t lie to a psychiatrist."

_ Okay, that’s enough. _

"I'm sorry, Dr. Yoo, but I really see no point in talking about this," Mina got up and made her way out the door, twisting the knob before Jeongyeon spoke.

"Maybe it's because you don't talk, Mina. When you decide to unearth your repressed feelings, please do come back."

*

The team gathered in Mina's office to discuss Mrs. Kang's surgery. Mina apologized for her harshness and mistakes during the operation. She asked for an update on Mrs. Kang's medical reports and dismissed the team.

Everyone left except for Sana.

"Yes, Sa-tan?"

"Did you see her? Dr. Yoo?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

"Useless."

"Mi-tan…"

"Is that all?"

Sana sighed in defeat and nodded. She left Mina's office and checked the time. 9:34PM. Momo and Dahyun left on a date and Tzuyu was meeting her parents after their meeting with whomever important business person she didn’t care about. It was too early to go home and be sad, too late to get started on her reports. She supposed the best thing to do now was to get drunk. It's never too early for a drink.

The black leather jacket and white tank top combination plus skin tight jeans were her favorite clubbing gear. It always got the men and women riled up. More likely it was because of Sana herself rather than her clothes. She had a way with people, mesmerizing them with her charm, wit and her faux innocence.

She hadn't been to clubs in ages. Bars, yes. It was a lot more relaxed at bars, just sitting quietly drinking with peers, talking about their midlife crises and whatnot. The clubs were quite the opposite. They were always filled young people, unwanted advances and sweat from dancing. But Sana loved dancing the night away. It was one of the reasons why she loved the club. Not that she couldn't dance wherever or whenever she wanted but she didn't want to look insane. She still had a career and her dignity to care for.

The last time she went to the club was maybe… when was the last time she spent the night crying in Tzuyu’s condo unit? A few weeks before then so that would make it… a month or so (she didn’t want to do the math). That was the longest she had gone. She didn’t intend on a clubbing cleanse. It just sort of happened.

_ “Why do you do this to yourself, Sana?” Tzuyu asked when Sana came over with two pints of ice cream for the two of them (though it seemed Sana would devour the two tubs). _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “I don’t know. Why do you look for people to break? You’re only hurting yourself.” _

_ She didn’t really have an answer to that question. Was it even a question? It seemed more like an accusation to Sana. Not that Tzuyu was the accusatory type.  _

The flashing purple and blue lights danced around with the people in the pit, syncing with the beat of the electro pop music blaring from the speakers. The DJ knew how to hype up the crowd and Sana found herself entranced by the music and the dancing and the adrenaline.

Familiar hands held onto her waist as the person from behind began grinding along with her to the rhythm. Sana turned her head enough for Nayeon to see her smirk. She held onto Nayeon’s hands until the song finished and tugged her along before the next song came on, which didn’t really give them enough time to leave the dance floor in peace.

Nayeon was a regular at the club and, honestly, one of Sana’s best friends (with benefits). She didn’t know much about Nayeon though she may have seen every inch of her body in very low lit areas. All she knew was that Nayeon was hot and was always game for a fun night under the sheets without any repercussions the next day. Their relationship wasn’t entirely based on clubs, sleeping together and alcohol. They made light comfortable conversations. She was fun to talk to and she was sweet to Sana. Nayeon worked in the entertainment industry. She didn’t really know as what. They never got into the details. She wouldn’t be surprised if she was in the “adult” side of the industry though she would probably stop having sex with her if that were the case. She was also older than Sana and a lot more experienced in bed and life in general. That was pretty much all she knew of her.

Sana shoved Nayeon against the bathroom cubicle door, almost a little too harshly, though she seemed to enjoy the roughness, “Tough day, sweetie?” Nayeon asked playfully, her cheeky smiled revealing her cute bunny teeth.

She pressed her lips against Nayeon’s, inhaling her breath, tasting her lips, nearly bruising them at the intensity. They tasted like cherries and liquor and Sana wondered what Tzuyu’s lips tasted like.

Sana moved away from Nayeon’s mouth and began biting down on her neck and kneading her breasts over her top. She let out a moan as Sana nipped away, surely leaving marks that would be hard to cover up in the coming days. She thought about Tzuyu would hate getting marked because she would have to cover it up with makeup and that would take up too much time in the morning..

Nayeon removed Sana’s jacket, exposing her pale skin. It was getting hot anyway. The older woman threw her jacket to the ground. Not that Sana cared (even though the bathroom floors in clubs were rarely every clean and this was no exception). She imagined Tzuyu would get so mad at the mess. They wouldn’t even be making out at the club bathroom.

It was too frustrating. Sana stepped back and left Nayeon cold and confused. She held her elbows, looking down, somewhat ashamed and apologized to Nayeon but it sounded more like she was saying sorry to herself or someone else.

“You know, we don’t really do deep emotional chit chat?” Nayeon said jokingly as she fixed her dark brown hair.

“I know. I should go,” Sana said, avoiding Nayeon’s eyes.

She squeezed Sana’s arm, “I didn’t say we can’t.”

*

The night was still young. 11:28PM. Well, young for these young women. Nayeon brought Sana to a booth she had reserved on the second floor. The music pumping from the dance floor became a bit dull and muted in the room. Some of Nayeon’s friends (Sana guessed) were sitting in the room, some were drinking, some were making out, others fell asleep or passed out drunk.

“Eh?” Sana screeched when she saw a familiar face. She quickly covered her mouth, embarrassed by her own reaction.

The other woman was no less shocked than Sana.

“You know each other?” Nayeon asked.

“I know _of _her. Chaeyoung, right?” Sana smiled, relaxing a little. She nodded and smiled back, “You know each other?”

“We’ve worked together,” Nayeon said coolly.

_ So she doesn’t work in the adult entertainment industry… unless…  _ Sana looked over at Chaeyoung who was sitting idly, checking her phone.

“You’re not with Mina tonight?” Sana asked Chaeyoung, who looked up from her mindless scrolling.

“She said she’d be late and that she needed sleep.”

Sana nodded. Mina did seem rather spent.

The booth was large enough so that they could talk without anyone else hearing, not that they cared. Everyone else looked too engrossed in their near lovemaking, alcohol-induced unconsciousness and general merry-making (and Chaeyoung on her phone).

“So tell me what’s wrong, sweetie? It’s so unlike you not to be running your nails down my back till you scream,” Nayeon laughed as she poured Sana a drink.

Sana scoffed, “You’re one to talk. How many times have I made you beg ‘Please let me come, mommy’?”

Nayeon slapped Sana’s shoulder and tried her best to contain her embarrassment with her loud laugh. Sana always appreciated how openly they talked about the most lewd of topics.

“Seriously though, if I can’t get you off, something is definitely wrong.”

“I’ve been thinking… that maybe I should stop this… this lifestyle. You know going to clubs and bars and getting people to fall all over me and then leaving them empty the day after. It’s not a lifestyle, I know.”

“You haven’t been here in a long while. I’m actually surprised you came. But what got you thinking that? Why declare it now?” Nayeon sipped her drink. The sweet smell of it made Sana a bit sick, “You finally wanna get your life together?”

“There’s a girl --”

“Of course.”

“I don't really know the kind of girls she likes, or if she even likes girls. But I can't stop thinking about her. I've been fine with the idea of just having her as a friend. But lately the feelings keep coming back up. Like just a while ago, when we were in the bathroom, I kept thinking of how it would be like with her," Sana laughed, "I’m sorry and no offense to you, Nayeon.”

“None taken.”

“She'd probably hate the cramped space. She's taller than me. She never talks about her sex life so maybe she’s bad at it but I don’t care. I mean, half the people I’ve slept with were so bad I wonder why I didn’t stop sooner. You’re still the best."

“Praise taken,” Nayeon clinked her glass with Sana’s, “So, what’s she like? You’re gonna tell me all the good stuff because you’re biased but go ahead.”

Sana laughed. Where would she start? She went over all the things that made her heart flutter. Tzuyu’s smile, her beautiful eyes, her long hair that frames her face just perfectly. The way Tzuyu cared about her and took care of her. How she’s so sarcastic and honest and unfazed by Sana’s antics. She didn’t really know what she loved about Tzuyu so much. There wasn’t one big thing. It was just all the small things that accumulated that took up such a huge space in her heart.

“Wow, you’re really whipped, huh?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Just by the way your face lights up and you look so animated when you talk about her. Yes, you are so obvious, Sana.”

She blushed mostly from the embarrassment and less from the alcohol and buried her face in the crook of her elbow, laughing it off.

“And what’s wrong if you confess to her?”

“She knows everything about me. About all the men and women I’ve been with. I’m afraid she’ll think I’m… just trying to get laid. I mean, to be honest, when I first met her, I was trying to sleep with her. She’s not very smart at picking up advances, believe me. We ended up becoming friends instead.”

“Wait, how long have you known her?”

“A few years.”

“And, sorry for the term, you’ve been sleeping around all this time while you’ve been friends and she’s never said anything about it? No violent reactions, no disgusted looks?”

“She did ask once if I was tired of this. And that was the last time I slept with someone and it was around that time when I stopped coming here.”

“Did she treat you any differently since you stopped?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really notice.”

“Well, if she was a lot nicer or affectionate towards you after you stopped, she’d probably be more interested in you. Like, ‘Oh, Sana is finally turning her life around for me’ or whatever,” Nayeon said, changing the sound of her voice to fit what she thought Tzuyu sounded like. Sana just laughed at her because Tzuyu did  _ not  _ sound like that at all (she would argue Tzuyu sounds like an angel welcoming her to the gates of heaven but she wasn’t going to tell Nayeon that), “And if she’s still treating you the same way, well, maybe she doesn’t really care whether you sleep around or not.”

Sana pouted at that. She didn’t feel like Tzuyu treated her any differently since her one month cleanse from the club scene. They still did all the usual things they did and she never looked at Sana any differently. So maybe she didn’t really care whether Sana slept around or maybe she didn’t really like her that way at all. That was a hard pill to swallow.

“Do you think she likes you the same way?” Nayeon asked, breaking Sana from her train of thought.

“It’s hard to tell with her. She’s not throwing herself at me like everyone else. In all the years I’ve known her, she’s never had a partner and she’s never spoken about anyone who interests her. So I don’t know how she would act if she likes someone or not.”

“That’s tricky.”

“I know… What do you think I should do?”

Nayeon placed her index finger under her chin, trying to put herself in Sana’s shoes, “If it were any other person, I’d say go for it. Fuck that girl. Literally. But she’s kind of a whole other level, yeah? A real genuine connection. I’d say talk it out like real adults. Best case scenario: she loves you back and  _ then  _ you can fuck her. Worst case scenario: she doesn’t and you’ll be all awkward for a while and then you can figure out where things go from there.”

Sana groaned at the agonizing thought of confessing her undying love for Tzuyu and the unpredictable outcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the SaTzu part of the story lightens the mood since MiChaeng's is kinda sad haha.

Chaeyoung prepared dinner for her and Mina. Gyudon and chicken teriyaki served with bean sprouts and green bell pepper. She thought Mina might miss Japanese food since she missed that Japan trip they were supposed to go together.

They were in Mina's condo for once and everything seemed normal. Comfortable. It was a surprise since Mina thought they were just going to order takeout tonight. But it was a pleasant surprise.

She tiptoed to kiss Mina’s nose. Mina smiled as she held Chaeyoung's waist, bringing her closer until there was nothing in between them.

"You're eager tonight," Chaeyoung smirked, "Dinner first. Desserts later," she bopped Mina's nose and hopped back to the kitchen. Chaeyoung appeared very cool in public with her hands in her pockets, that smug face and a pair of shades, she could steal your man  _ and  _ your girl. But inside the confines of their condo or studio or anywhere private, she was, in her very essence, a bubbly romantic who loved kisses on noses and cuddles in bed when nights were cold.

How she managed to snag a woman like Chaeyoung was a stroke of good luck or fate or whatever anyone would call it but Mina couldn’t believe to have her in her life. She sighed.

"Chaeng?"

"Yeah?" she responded from the kitchen.

_ I went to see Dr. Yoo the other day like you asked. I hated her. I hate psychiatrists. I hate talking about my feelings. I hate that I think this way. I hate myself for feeling so weak. That’s why I didn’t want to see you last night. I spent it crying myself to sleep and I didn’t want to ruin your day. _

_ I don't want to see you leave, Chaeng, but you deserve someone better. Why are you even still here making me dinner and kissing me every morning and every night? Why do you put up with a mess of a woman? _

Mina walked into the kitchen to find everything was already set. Plates, utensils, wine. There was always wine with Chaeyoung. She only had to plate the dishes and serve them on the dining table and they were good. Mina just stood by the doorway, taking everything in. The quiet moment and how perfect it was.

“You okay?” Chaeyoung held Mina’s hand. She nodded in response, trying to brush off the thoughts in her head.

The food was good. Chaeyoung didn’t lie when she said she could cook. Mina thought of cooking for her someday too, flexing her own skills and knowhow. The thought of a future with Chaeyoung was something she’d never imagined herself thinking about. They were nice thoughts painted in a soft and light filter. Chaeyoung would wrap her arms around Mina’s waist as she sliced tomatoes or whatever vegetable she could think of on the counter, stealing kisses on her neck and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Candle lights and a bouquet of flowers, which Chaeyoung would have bought, set on the table. Tulips. They were Mina’s favorite.

She kept this hopeful smile as she listened to Chaeyoung talk about her next project. Just a local one. She was glad to get more photography gigs.

Mina insisted on cleaning the dishes much to Chaeyoung’s protest. Mina held the dishes over her head so Chaeyoung couldn't reach them (not that Mina was that much taller). Chaeyoung surrendered almost immediately as the sight of plates over Mina and possibly falling over them was too much for her. She cleaned the table instead and poured wine for the two of them.

The plates and pans were set on the drying rack as Mina continued washing the utensils. She flinched at the pain when she noticed she had accidentally cut herself. Blood running with the water. She froze in place at the sight. The memories of that night flashed in her mind once again. The truck driver's face and horrified expression planted in her head. She felt the blood drip from her head, the broken glass grazing her face and the piece of metal that pierced her side.

"Oh, shit. Mina, you're bleeding. Hold on," Chaeyoung rummaged through a drawer to find Mina's first aid kit, which was rather incomplete considering she was a medical professional.

Wiping her hand dry and applying the bandaid over her wound, Mina smiled, trying to hide her pain, "Sorry. I'm not a very good doctor, huh?"

"You're just a careless human," Chaeyoung said as she kissed Mina's wound. It was so gentle. And the thoughts of her undeserving hand being kissed by such a wonderful being entered her mind once more.

She pulled away and sighed, "I went to see a psychiatrist the other day,” the words came out short and hard and opening up was so difficult, “But if I'm being honest, it didn't do me any good."

Chaeyoung stared at her with that look in her eyes, as if she was looking at the most precious thing in the world, waiting for her to continue talking. She knew there was something more Mina wanted to say.

"I've been thinking… that… I want to get better…"

Her vision started blurring as tears soon fell. She laughed, wiping away the tears before realizing how insane she must look to Chaeyoung right now. Crying and laughing like a deranged woman (or what she perceived a deranged woman would be). But Chaeyoung didn't look at her with judgment.

_ I want to get better for you, Chaeng. _

"Hey, I'm glad you're taking steps to help yourself," Chaeyoung said as she hugged Mina, nuzzling her, interlocking her fingers at the small of Mina's back, "I know talking about these things is hard. But holding on to these feelings is a lot harder."

Sometimes, Mina wished Chaeyoung wasn't so nice, wasn't so compassionate. Sometimes, she wished she hadn't even met the girl. Maybe it would be easier to hate herself for all the wrongs she'd done. Maybe it would be easier to drop everything if it wasn't for her. She was right though, Chaeyoung kept her steady. She faltered too much on her own.

*

Sana went over to Tzuyu's condo again. She’d been making trips to the girl’s unit every day for the last week, mustering up the courage to confess. Why did she feel like she reverted back to her shy self from middle school coming up to her crush with a note and then crumpling it and throwing away just before they got close? 

She left each day without knocking the door or ringing the doorbell. She’d been to her condo before, slept there, spent endless hours watching dramas and movies with Tzuyu, experimented on recipes (she had decided that she was not a good cook and would rely on Tzuyu from then on). But there she stood, not really knowing what to do. On Day One, she spent thirty minutes outside of the building, shoving her hands in her pockets, trying to hold on to the warmth inside her coat during that dreary autumn day. The weather was perfect for being sad. She dismissed her plans and went home. On Day Three, Sana went into the lobby. The building personnel already knew her since she’d been a frequent visitor. She didn’t even need to leave an ID or sign on the log book to enter. On Day Five, she finally got the courage to go up the elevator and stop by Tzuyu’s door. Today was Day Seven and Sana was determined to make the final step and knock on the door (or would it be the first of many steps to come?).

Sana lifted her hand up, her knuckle an inch away from the door. Her signature knock echoed through the hallways (two knocks followed by a pause then three quick knocks, repeated until Tzuyu would open the door). She had a spare key to the unit that Tzuyu gave her which she could only use if the latter ever forgot her key.

No answer. No one came to open the door. She sighed, mostly from relief.

“Sana?” 

The ghostly voice came out barely above a whisper but it was enough to startle Sana and she jumped and squealed, causing Tzuyu to laugh.

“Yah! Tzuyu! Don’t do that!” Sana crossed her arms and pouted blushing in embarrassment at how high-pitched her scream was.

“Sorry. What are you doing here?” Tzuyu asked as she pulled out her keys, “It’s not usual for you come here on your own. I didn’t think you could even remember how to get here.”

“Ha-ha,” Sana mocked. She did get lost on Day One.

Tzuyu placed her things on the table and tied her hair up, her baby hairs brushing over her forehead. Sana always found them adorable.

“Can we talk?” Sana asked.

Tzuyu looked at her with an eyebrow raised, questioning Sana’s intention but agreed nonetheless.

Sana smiled nervously, her hands shaking a bit as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, “This has been running through my mind for a long time. I’ve sorta scrapped the idea and brought it back on the board so many times I can’t count anymore.

“The thing is that... ” Sana hesitated, avoiding Tzuyu’s eyes for the entirety of her speech, until this moment. She met them and she melted at the sight. Tzuyu probably didn’t know the effect she had on Sana and she would never admit to it (not yet anyway), “We’ve been friends for a long time, right?”

She held Tzuyu’s hands, they were so soft and warm and fit perfectly in Sana’s. She paused. She couldn’t get the words out, “You have been so stressed lately!” The crack in her voice made Sana speak faster, “Come on, I’m taking you out for the night!”

“I just got home.”

“You never go out!” the panic in Sana’s voice was apparent (to her at least), “I know a great club!”

“I hate clubs.”

“But you love me, right?”

Tzuyu whined in agony. She rarely ever complained like this and it was the cutest thing Sana had ever witnessed. She hated the atmosphere of clubs with loud music and people, especially the drunk kind, invading her personal space. Sana was well aware of all these things but she panicked and she just couldn’t say,  _ “I love you. Please be my girlfriend so we can live happily ever after with 3 dogs in a beach house in Jeju Island or something”  _ to Tzuyu’s face.

The next thing they knew they were out in town. Sana wore her usual black leather jacket and white tank top. She had to dress Tzuyu up too, who, surprisingly, had an adequate wardrobe that fit the occasion despite not being a frequent night life patron. She wore an appropriately fitting mesh top with a black camisole underneath. But the real treat for Sana’s eyes was her tight black mini skirt, exposing her long slender legs that never seemed to end.

“I didn’t think you owned clothes like that in your closet, Tzu,” Sana giggled as she linked her arm around Tzuyu’s.

“I’m full of surprises,” she replied with a glint in her eye that gave Sana thoughts which would be considered sinful.

Entering her usual club scene, Sana was greeted by a lot of familiar faces. Tzuyu clutched Sana’s arm close.

Nayeon came from the dance floor, sweating and panting as she waved at Sana, a huge smile on her face. She made her way to the two women, “Sana! Hey, is she--”

“My friend!” Sana yelled over the music. Nayeon nodded, taking the cue, “Nayeon! Tzuyu! There! We’re all friends!”

“You need some liquid courage?” Nayeon said loudly. Sana nodded. While taking a few shots seemed like a bad idea before confessing her feelings to the supposed love of her life, Sana was not ready to drop the bomb and thought she needed to loosen up.

“Drink up!” Sana handed Tzuyu a shot glass filled with whatever Nayeon brought them, “I trust Nayeon.”

Tzuyu shot the drink down instantly without so much as a flinch much to Sana and Nayeon’s surprise. This girl could hold her own.

“What? I can drink too, unnie,” Tzuyu laughed and tugged Sana along to the dance floor, causing Sana to widen her eyes at her junior’s eagerness. Nayeon winked at them as she returned to her booth on the second floor.

Tzuyu was right. She was full of surprises tonight. First, her scantily clad outfit. Second, her ability to drink like a middle aged man that had no intention of taking care of his health. Third (and hopefully not the last), her willingness to dance with and grind on Sana. Whatever image or idea Sana had of Tzuyu as her junior, her  _ yeo dongsaeng _ , her little sister was now completely thrown out the window, burned to the ground and the ashes swept by the wind. Because Tzuyu’s dancing was effortless, her hips swaying with the music, hands running through her hair, and her facial expression just screaming for Sana to touch her (or at least that was what Sana thought). 

Fighting the urge to do so, Sana continued to dance behind Tzuyu, still on edge and making sure no one touched her. Not out of her territorial nature (though to be honest, that was the main reason), but mostly to protect Tzuyu from any unwanted attention and predators. She barely touched Tzuyu, not wanting to heighten her already intense feelings.

“Unnie,” Tzuyu’s voice was low but enough for Sana to hear, making her lean in. Tzuyu turned around so they were now facing each other and held Sana’s face and whispered hotly into her ear, “Is this what you wanted?”

Sana must have stopped dancing because people started pushing against her and she stared blankly at Tzuyu, who was smiling devilishly.

The song ended and Tzuyu quickly paced out of the pit and Sana followed blindly, wondering if this was all a dream, a very inappropriate dream.

“Yah! Tzuyu, what was that about?” Sana grabbed Tzuyu’s wrist before she reached the bar.

She ignored Sana’s question and ordered more drinks for the two of them, sliding her card across the bar for the bartender to swipe.

For the first time in her life, she was afraid of what was to come after drinking too much. She had a rather high tolerance and made sure her partners were not as intoxicated as herself, especially if they were men. If things got too rowdy, she knew how to expertly leave the situation. One time, she did a chokehold on a guy and left him in the dust after he passed out. Tzuyu handed her a drink, not really sure of the concoction as she stared incredulously at the pink and violet liquid.

“You trust Nayeon but not me?” Tzuyu pouted.

Sana shook her head and swallowed the drink in a single gulp and scrunched her face at the hardness of the drink, “Aish! Tzuyu, what the fuck?”

Tzuyu chuckled, “What’s the matter, unnie? Can’t hold it down?”

_ Aish! Tzuyu, what the fuck? _

“It’s getting hot, huh?” Sana started fanning herself, removing her jacket in the utterly most seductive manner, displaying her shoulder for Tzuyu to see, stretching her right arm over to flip her hair to the right side and exposing her neck. She couldn’t help but notice Tzuyu’s eyes darting at her bare skin, licking her lips.

_ Two can play at this game. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop some comments on how you think the story is going so far :) feedback and constructive criticism are always open!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a fun chapter to write. :)
> 
> Please drop your comments/ feedback/ violent reactions (please be kind!)/ constructive criticism! I'd love to know what you think about the story so far :)
> 
> Also, you can follow me on Twitter @ trash_for_twice where I post updates and also my extra thoughts lol. Also also, if you don't mind, i'm plugging my ko-fi again (please check the link on my twitter profile), any little bit helps. Money isn't a motivating factor to write but it sure helps lol.
> 
> Thank you all for the support so far! Thank you for the kind words and kudos and general love for the story! <3
> 
> [EDIT]: Oh, gad. I didn't realize the first word was cut off haha I need to review before posting huhu sorry, fam.

Unbeknownst to the two women who were arguably dying of the sexual tension between them, Mina stood in the booth above them, leaning against the railing while watching their heated exchange. Chaeyoung had invited her over and even though she hated going out at night (or at all), she promised to herself that she would try and “be better” and she supposed doing things she liked was “being better”.

She felt a little guilty watching her two colleagues fighting the urge not to rip each other’s clothes off so she went back to mingle with Chaeyoung and her peers. It was part of her “getting better” remedy. She met Jeongyeon again the other day with renewed (sort of) intention to get well.

_ “You’re back,” Jeongyeon said as she tapped on her clipboard with her pen, sitting cross-legged on her swivel chair as Mina sat once more on the strangely uncomfortable and unsettling divan. _

_ “I know I’ve been less than cooperative. But I really do want to get better,” Mina said, clenching her dress in her balled up fists. Perhaps it was pride or embarrassment that had kept from opening up to Jeongyeon, or just her inability to be emotionally available, but she really wanted to be better for Chaeyoung. _

_ Jeongyeon nodded and began her questioning and Mina began unloading all of her emotional trauma, which was mentally, physically and spiritually exhausting. _

This was one of Jeongyeon's suggestions to her aide in her inability to be loved, that is, to allow love to flow into her, to stop deflecting and avoiding all instances and efforts from other people to love her. She knew she had been rejecting people’s attempts to help her. It seemed like a no brainer. But to make an active effort to let people into her life and to get a glimpse of the inner workings of her mind was an entirely different story. It was difficult.

She had formally introduced herself to Chaeyoung's friends as her girlfriend, making the smaller girl blush as she did not expect her to do so. They would probably discuss it after they went home but right now she really enjoyed looking at Chaeyoung beam with enthusiasm at the sound of “I’m Mina, Chaeyoung’s girlfriend”. Hopefully, she could get a treat after this (provided she still had energy because being out and about at night drained her more than working a full day at the hospital did).

"Hey, Mina," Nayeon called as she approached her, looking back at Chaeyoung as she was talking to the rest of the group, "I hope you're treating her well, yeah?"

"Is this a 'big brother' talk?" Mina joked. 

Nayeon laughed as she passed Mina a drink, "I guess so. Listen, she talks about you a lot. The good stuff. She really loves you. And if you do anything to hurt her, I will hunt you down and make sure you apologize to her. I’m not going to kill you. Chaeyoung will probably kill me and I have too much life to live."

Mina smiled and raised her glass, "I'll do my best to keep her happy."

The smile of relief washed over Nayeon's face. It wasn't like her words had any real law in effect for her to keep her promise, but they both hoped it did. Mina wanted to believe her own words.

Nayeon ushered Mina to join the group and Chaeyoung was undeniably giddy at the sight of her girlfriend sitting with them as if she didn't get enough of her on a daily basis.

It was a strange group of individuals, Mina thought. From various fields of professions and backgrounds. There was Jackson, an Olympic fencer and a non-Olympic gymnast, philanthropist, entrepreneur and was there anything else this man couldn't do? Jinyoung, an indie film actor struggling to make a name for himself. Jisoo, a kindergarten school teacher who just wanted to relax after a day of kids grabbing her hair who sidelined as a lounge singer in various hotels. Seulgi, CEO of SM Corp., and looking rather drunk. How all these people came together was a big mystery and Mina would ask Chaeyoung later how it all came to be.

They talked about the strangest of things like politics, economics and religion. And Mina supposed these were the things they _ could _ talk about seeing as how they lived in very different worlds.

She found herself getting lost in the topics and giving her own inputs. While she hardly ever talked in a large group, there was something comforting about all of these strangers. They were smart and well-mannered and listened well. They did not judge you on where you came from and where you wanted to go.

It had been a weird and eventful night. Mina would mark it down in her mind. She would have to note all of the things they'd discussed and probably buy stocks of SM Corp.

Mina noticed Chaeyoung hadn't drank one sip of any drink while she had maybe two glasses, not enough to make her embarrassingly drunk but she would need a sober driver to take her home.

By this time, everyone moved on to their little groups, which gave Chaeyoung the opportunity to move closer to Mina, placing her hand over thigh and moving it dangerously up the hem of her short skirt. She didn't drink but she sure looked intoxicated.

"You're so sexy when you talk about taxes," Chaeyoung whispered.

"I do my best to give back to our government, so they can provide equal benefits to all," Mina said in a sultry voice.

Chaeyoung smiled, "Shall we finish our discussion of the economic impact our taxes have on our country at home? I'll drive."

"Lead the way," Mina smirked as she kissed Chaeyoung, eliciting a cheer from Jackson and causing Nayeon to knock his head harshly.

*

Unbeknownst to Mina, Sana and Tzuyu's tension had reached its breaking point soon after she stopped looking over them. It started off as slow, maybe even innocent teasing, but escalated much too quickly. Tzuyu trailing her fingertips along Sana's arm. Sana tracing the contours of Tzuyu's neck and shoulder. Tzuyu leaning in and whispering in Sana's ear and surprisingly biting it down sharply. Sana grabbing Tzuyu's butt and squeezing it tightly. Tzuyu pulling Sana along with her to the same bathroom the latter had taken Nayeon. Sana speedily removing Tzuyu's mesh top, which was the wrong choice of clothing to be honest because it was so troublesome to take off (Sana would have ripped it off but it probably cost more than what she made in a month). And finally, after an agonizingly long time, Tzuyu kissed Sana, rather forcefully, if she may add (Sana would note that it was Tzuyu who made the first move though it really didn’t matter. Just a “for the record” kind of thing).

She parted her lips, slipping her tongue past the younger woman’s mouth, tasting the remnants of alcohol. Raking her fingers through her long brown hair, the sweet smell of her banana-scented shampoo engulfed Sana’s senses (why did Tzuyu like this weird fruity scent anyway?). Sana peppered Tzuyu with kisses along her neck, biting lightly so as not to break skin. Tzuyu let out a muffled moan when Sana grazed her thigh between the other’s legs, excruciatingly close to where friction was needed most, and the glorious sound drove her wild. How much louder would she be if she didn’t restrain herself by biting down Sana’s shoulder? Sana could only dream and it truly felt like one.

But Sana woke herself up.

"Tzuyu?" Sana breathed out, her lips hovering over Tzuyu’s mouth.

"What?”

"I'm sorry. I can’t..."

"Can’t what? You have no problem sleeping around with strangers,” her tone was cold and Sana was amazed that she wasn’t as out of breath as herself.

“Eh? Is this what this is about?”

Tzuyu pushed past Sana and opened the cubicle door, leaning her back against the sink, crossing her arms, waiting for Sana to explain herself. Though to Sana, it was Tzuyu who needed to do some explaining.

“I haven’t… I haven’t been with anyone in a while, Tzuyu. I mean, you remember the last time, don’t you?”

It seemed like she did. She looked away from Sana’s confused and sad eyes, “So where were you last week? Because that night you went to my home unannounced, you came from this particular club and smelled particularly like you had just slept with someone?”

She was right about one thing. She did come from this particular club but she didn’t sleep with anyone. After her talk with Nayeon, she went over to Tzuyu's condo because it was a lot closer to the club than her own apartment. She used her spare key to get in and would have had to explain to Tzuyu later that day why she spent the night sleeping on the couch. But Tzuyu was awake and was about ready to smack Sana with a frying pan because she thought a robber was trying to break in. She stopped mid-swing when she realized it was no robber.

_ "What the hell are you doing here at this hour? Where have you been? Why are you bringing a bottle of soju and a standee of Bae Joohyun?" Tzuyu asked, her nostrils flared in rage. _

_ "Sorry, sorry. The standee came with the soju… I think… That’s not important. I came from the club with some friends. Your place is closer and, you know, better safe than sorry, yeah?" Sana explained sheepishly, "Can I please stay the night?" _

_ Sana gave her signature puppy pout, just begging Tzuyu to give in. Tzuyu rolled her eyes, "Yeah, fine. You've practically invaded my home anyway. But please wash up before you go to bed. I don't want everything smelling like… the club. I think you still have some of your spare clothes in the drawer," she shrugged. _

_ Relieved, Sana peppered Tzuyu with kisses on her cheeks and thanked her endlessly. _

“Tzuyu, this club smells like sex whether or not you had sex in here. And the stench sticks for a while,” Sana tried her best to explain as seriously as possible, “And, yeah, I did come to the club. I needed to see Nayeon. And what does it matter to you whether I’ve had sex or not? And just to make things clear, I didn't.”

The flush of red forming on Tzuyu’s cheeks, which probably stemmed from rage (or arousal, Sana hoped), was now rising from… embarrassment? She still avoided Sana’s stare. It seemed like Tzuyu was dropping her guard, “It doesn’t. I just don’t think you should be sleeping around with people anymore. You’re not getting any younger and STDs are rampant these days." She was still upset. It was unlike Tzuyu to show any sort of anger towards Sana, “But that doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me all week.”

Sana looked perplexed. She hadn't been avoiding her at all. She did "stalk" her home for the week but she hadn't purposefully strayed away from her… or did she? She rummaged through her mind, re-examining the events of the week from a different perspective. They went through two surgeries and made minimal contact which was normal she supposed. They had lunch together on Wednesday _ only _, which wasn't normal (they had lunch together every day if their schedules provided and Sana never gave an excuse). They didn't take the train home together, which was the telltale sign something was up. Sana and Tzuyu almost always went home together and Sana would reach her home first since Tzuyu lived farther. Sana would always message Tzuyu that she got home and hoped she returned safe as well. She'd been avoiding this ritual as she was working up the plan and the courage to confess to Tzuyu. And now she seemed a bit embarrassed that that was the reason she was unknowingly steering clear of Tzuyu.

_ I guess now is as good a time as any to spill my heart out. _

"I've been busy, thinking about the best way or coming up with the sweetest words to confess to this girl, Tzu," Sana laughed. Tzuyu's eyes instantly dropped down to the floor, giving out a muffled "Oh". She seemed sad and Sana continued hoping the younger girl would catch on, "She's my best friend and I didn't want to ruin anything about that. But I thought that maybe I shouldn't live life with regrets, right? I asked Nayeon for advice and she said that I should talk it out with her. If she loves me back, then that's great. And if she doesn't, then I'll go pack up my bags and live in a remote town in Malaysia or something."

"I'd hate to break it to you, Sana, but I'm pretty sure Mina is very much in love with Chaeyoung. She already introduced us to her even," Tzuyu said.

"Aish!" Sana bonked Tzuyu's head, "_ Pabo! _I meant you, Tzuyu!"

Tzuyu rubbed on the spot Sana had hit her, looking rather confused, "Eh?"

"Ah, you're so smart when it comes to matters of the biological heart but you're kind of an idiot when it comes to figurative heart, huh?" Sana chuckled, tapping Tzuyu’s chest, where her biological heart was located. Tzuyu quickly swatted her hand away.

"The important thing is that I'm smart."

Sana smiled and rested her chin on Tzuyu's shoulder, giving her a warm embrace. She guessed that her skinship was welcome as the younger girl didn't bother stopping her, still processing the strange yet exciting turn of events. Feeling Tzuyu's heart race against her own chest, Sana concluded, "I think you've just confirmed that you like me too apparently."

"Aye, don't be so full of yourself," Tzuyu said patting Sana's butt lightly, causing her to giggle, “Since we’re being honest, Sana, I guess I was feeling jealous or angry or hurt at the thought of you being with someone else. Not like I had any right to be. I guess when you asked me to go to the club with you, I wanted to show you I could let loose and have fun and be the kind of person you wanted to be with.”

“You think I want to be with the fools I sleep with?” Sana laughed. 

_ Except Nayeon, she’s no fool. Not that I’d want to be with her. _

Tzuyu chuckled, “Aren’t I a fool though?”

“You’re my fool,” Sana said as she nuzzled her neck.

“Is honest time over because I have something else to say?”

“Go ahead.”

Tzuyu broke from the embrace and looked Sana straight in the eye, “When you said ‘I’m sorry. I can’t’ earlier, did you mean that… you couldn’t sleep with me or…”

Sana blushed and laughed, “Tzuyu! God, I want you so bad. But not like this. Not in this dinky, stinky public bathroom and not while we’re kind of drunk.” She held Tzuyu’s face in her hands and realized how small it was and how precious she was to her, “Tzuyu, I said I couldn’t because this isn’t how I want you. I want to earn it. I want to treat you right. And _ then _get it in your pants.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! WARNING !!! THERE IS SMUT IN HERE AND SORRY. This is not really my first time writing smut but it's my first time posting it. Please be kind! The smut isn't exactly essential to the story so you can totally skip the middle part of this chapter lol.

Everything seemed to have fallen into place. 

Everyone was happy. Chaeyoung could officially call Mina her girlfriend. Her friends were Mina’s friends and Mina’s friends were her friends and everyone got along. It helped that Sana and Nayeon were already friends. Their history would be a story for another time. Her career was doing great. She left her job as a journalist and began working freelance full time, she got more and more gigs and shoots for so many different clients and she loved how everything was so busy and exciting. She finally got to explore her artistic freedom without the constraints of what was needed to be shown by the big guys in corporate.

She even had personal projects of her own, which made her heart so full. Mina adored her works, praising her constantly, encouraging her to do more paintings and photo series.

_ “I really like the message you’re trying to convey in this scene. The purple tones in the sky give the feeling of longing and the orange and brown leaves on the trees are nostalgic,” Mina analyzed. _

_ “Are you just saying that to sound fancy?” Chaeyoung joked. _

_ “Of course, but I love it nonetheless,” Mina shot her a playful, gummy smile. _

Chaeyoung held on to the strap of her camera hanging around her neck as the models were finding their marks in the shoot. She instructed them and guided them on how to pose and give the right facial expressions for this piece.

She wondered if Mina knew she was her favorite muse. She didn’t lug her DSLR camera around with her all the time, especially when they were on dates. Instead, she used her phone camera to sneakily take pictures of Mina in her most candid moments. When she was laughing at one of Chaeyoung’s dumb “no-jam” jokes. When she was walking ahead of her in the sunset, the light painting her skin in just the most perfect way. She turned around to face her and the way her hair flowed with her movement was breathtaking. She laughed when she saw that Chaeyoung had her phone up, snapping away at every millisecond. Her unrestrained gummy smile was an art form Chaeyoung could stare at all day. When she fell asleep on the bus ride back to their hotel during their trip to Japan which they finally got the chance to go. Her eyes closed and her head resting on the window as the rain trickled down the glass. The rural countryside passing by them. When she cooked dinner in her silly “kiss the cook” apron (it was so unlike Mina’s style but it added to her quirks). While it wasn’t exactly candidly taken, Chaeyoung’s favorite picture of Mina was the sneakiest of photos she ever took. She had set her phone on the book shelf she had installed on the wall of her studio. She set the timer when Mina arrived from the hospital. Chaeyoung casually asked for a hug, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, and Mina willingly obliged. She timed the position, framing, lighting and everything perfectly and got a shot of Mina’s soft expression as she hugged her, eyes closed and lips slightly curled into a close-mouthed smile. Every time she looked at that picture (she was proud of her high level ninja skills), she felt like it was always a safe place to go back to. That Mina was the comfort she needed after a long day. That Mina was the calmness in the middle of the chaos in life. That Mina was her home. 

She shot away, taking pictures from different angles, adjusting the lighting here and there, making a few changes in the models’ marks. Chaeyoung and her team looked over the shots and they were perfect, just the way she wanted it. She thanked everyone in the shoot and began cleaning up. 

The day had been unforgivingly exhausting. She was excited to go back home where she would expect to find Mina, waiting with Chinese takeout or whatever. She didn’t really care what was for dinner.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Chaeyoung said as she placed her things on the side. Mina was scrolling through her phone before greeting Chaeyoung and set the plates on the counter. She offered her a plate of bolognese pasta she cooked herself.

“I cooked. I hope you don’t mind. I feel like you’ve been craving Chinese takeout,” Mina said jokingly (thought it was true).

Chaeyoung chuckled, “I love your cooking. It beats Chinese takeout any day.”

It was a night like any other, the routine settling in. Dinner. Conversations about their days. Upsetting evening news about economic turmoil or political drama or an episode of whatever new drama was on. Sometimes some wine and back massages, soft and warm cuddles on the couch. Sometimes snuggling into bed really late. Most of the time engaging in more physically strenuous nightly activities.

The first time was sloppy and uncoordinated but Chaeyoung always remembered it as a very romantic night. 

_ "It was sweaty and awkward," Mina commented when Chaeyoung asked about their first time. _

_ "Yes. But it was romantic," Chaeyoung said dreamily. _

_ Mina rolled her eyes and kissed her nose, "Yes, Chaeng, it was. Now, take your clothes off." _

And tonight was no exception. Mina made quick work of undoing Chaeyoung's bra and throwing it aside. It still amazed her how skilled she was at it though Mina admitted she had only slept with one other person in her life (she never disclosed who and Chaeyoung never prodded). Maybe it was the surgeon hands? Were all surgeons really good at unhooking bras?

Chaeyoung always liked it slow but Mina was the type to get things done fast. She didn't mind because she loved the exhausted cuddles after.

"How do you want me tonight?" Mina whispered into Chaeyoung's ear. A question she never asked before. She pushed Chaeyoung lightly till her back was on the bed and Mina on top of her leaving little bite marks on her neck. The warmth of Mina’s skin touching her own.

Confused, Chaeyoung asked, "What do you mean?"

Mina lifted herself from the younger woman, her dark eyes were dangerously inviting, "Tell me what you want me to do to you,” she said as she walked her fingers along Chaeyoung’s chest, reaching her neck and then her lips. Mina traced the contours of Chaeyoung’s mouth, tickling her nerves. 

The blush crept up Chaeyoung's cheek. She wasn't used to giving directions, often letting Mina lead the way. She felt nervous, sputtering the words out quickly, "Ah, I'm fine with the way things are, don't you think? I kinda like you on top and I kinda like it when you tell me what to do. I like that setup. Unless you want me to top? That's fine too. But I don't know if--"

"Shh," Mina placed her index finger on Chaeyoung's lips, "you're rambling."

"Sorry," Chaeyoung said, muffled by Mina's finger.

"You want me to fuck you hard, Chaeng? Till you can't feel your legs? Till your vision's blurred and you have to rake your fingernails deep into my back?"

The image made her wet in anticipation, "That sounds fine, yeah? Whatever you like," Chaeyoung said nervously, surprised at the sudden shift in Mina's tone and use of such vulgar words They weren’t _ that _bad but coming from Mina, it had a certain vibe and gravity. They rarely ever used dirty talk. She never really knew why but it seemed to have an effect on Chaeyoung. She liked it. 

Tonight felt a little different though. Maybe it was the successful shoot at work that she had been stressing over for weeks. Maybe it was Mina cooking her dinner instead of just ordering takeout. Maybe it was just this life and the routine and Mina. Maybe it was just Mina. But Chaeyoung felt so happy and contented and she wanted to let Mina know, to do everything to make her feel good, to share the joy she felt.

Mina leaned in, licking her lips before kissing her when suddenly Chaeyoung covered the other woman’s mouth with her hand. Her eyes widened and Chaeyoung surprised herself, "Actually, no, can I change my answer? I'd like to fuck _ you _, Mina. I want to feel your core tighten around my fingers, scream my name till your throat hurts. I want you to look me in the eyes when you come. I want to make you feel good, make you feel like a goddess… If that's okay with you."

She smiled, seemingly delighted at the sudden demand and the domineering tone of Chaeyoung's voice (that quickly disappeared with "if that's okay with you"), "I love it when you ask for consent. It's so sexy."

Chaeyoung laughed and pulled Mina closer to her and parted her lips to taste Mina. Her hair smelled like lilac, which was new. And as quickly as she had shifted the conversation earlier, she flipped Mina over so she was on top of her now. Mina smiled at her forcefulness, preparing herself for what was to come.

They were slow and careful. Chaeyoung enjoyed it and found it romantic, as if it was their first time but less sweaty and a lot less awkward. She removed Mina's bra, confused as to why she had been clothed all this time, and began planting kisses on her chest, slowly making her way to her breast. She sucked Mina's right breast and licked her nipple and kneaded the other, causing Mina to arch her back and whimper. Hearing Mina aroused made Chaeyoung want more. She moved to the other breast and did the same. This time, biting lightly, making Mina grab a fistfull of Chaeyoung’s hair.

"God, Chaeng, please get down there already."

She chuckled, "This is how I want you, Mina."

"Suffering and begging for you to fuck me?" she said, exasperated. 

Chaeyoung said nothing and moved lower to Mina's stomach. Her abs were toned but her skin was soft and it was arguably Chaeyoung's favorite part of Mina to kiss (well, one of her favorites). Licking along the vertical line that cut through the length her abs, she tensed under Chaeyoung's touch. She was finally making her way down to Mina's center and was pleased to find her devastatingly wet. Kissing her inner thighs, Chaeyoung couldn't help but tease Mina as she cursed under her breath, aching to be touched.

"Do you wear pencil skirts at work?" Chaeyoung asked out of the blue.

"Damn it, Chaeng, I don't know!"

"You'll probably have to wear loose dresses and skirts after this you know. Just making sure," Chaeyoung teased and she just loved looking at Mina on the edge. 

"Okay, Chaeng, I'll burn my pencil skirts. Just please… fuck me already," Mina begged.

Chaeyoung slipped her fingers under the sides of Mina's underwear and removed them slo--

"Just rip them off, will you?" Mina said loudly and desperately, making Chaeyoung laugh. She didn't usually enjoy having so much power but just looking at Mina like this turned her on (and also made her giddy).

Just as Mina wanted, Chaeyoung began sucking and licking at her center, slipping her tongue between her folds, tasting her. She reached out to hold Mina's hands as they tensed and gripped hard, probably nearly breaking Chaeyoung's fingers (and she didn't care). She moved slowly and the anguish in Mina’s moans and breaths made Chaeyoung enjoy this all the more. But she figured she’d caused Mina enough suffering for the night and should do well to deliver the pleasure she desperately desired. She let one hand go as she slid her index slowly, Mina twitched as she filled her. She knocked her head back, biting her lower lip. Chaeyoung quickened her pace and added a second finger while she sucked on her clit, making quick licks along the bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, Chaeng… D-don’t… stop,” Mina breathed out, her voice hoarse.

“I’m sorry, what?” Chaeyoung lifted her head and Mina swore she was going to fucking kill her if she denied her an orgasm and Chaeyoung smirked. She pointed her two fingers to her own eyes then to Mina’s, “Look at me when you come. I want to see lose yourself and hear you scream my name with all the profanities you know.”

“Fuck you, Chaeng! Hurry up!”

Chaeyoung didn’t know why she enjoyed this so much, but looking at Mina wanting and restless made herself quite needy as well. She continued her onslaught on Mina’s core, continuing her pace as before, shocking Mina at the speed and intensity as she thrusted and sucked. Their eyes locked just as Chaeyoung demanded.

_ Come for me, Mina. _

And as if by command, Mina came, arching her back, bucking her hips, screaming Chaeyoung’s name along with what she assumed were Japanese profanities. Chaeyoung continued her movements, slowing down until Mina came down from her high until she finally settled, breathless and exhausted. 

She was rather proud of her achievement as she looked at Mina sprawled on the bed, completely spent. God, she looked beautiful and Chaeyoug hoped she felt as beautiful as she believed her to be. She moved to lie next to Mina and held her, giving her praises of how good she took it and how lovely she was and how much she loved her.

Winter's first snow had made it earlier today and Chaeyoung knew Mina hated the cold so she pulled the blanket over them, keeping them both comfortably warm. She brushed the stray strands of hair off Mina's face, her smile was soft and beautiful and she knew it was for her. She didn't smile like that for anyone else.

In an instant, Mina sat up and straddled Chaeyoung's hips. She wasted no time in trying to get Chaeyoung off (as her usual routine).

"Aren't you tired?" Chaeyoung laughed as Mina kissed her neck.

"Please, my stamina is great. I'm going to give you a hard time tonight," Mina smirked, "You thought you could own me, huh?"

Chaeyoung gulped. But if she were to be honest, she was rather excited.

*

The soft touch of Mina's hand caressed her face. Chaeyoung barely woke up but she was conscious enough to feel it and to hear Mina's words.

"I love you, Chaeng," she said, her voice was calm. Mina took a long time to get those words out of her mouth the first time she said them. Since then, it had naturally slipped out more often.

"I love you too, babe," Chaeyoung smiled, melting in Mina's touch.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Chaeyoung asked sleepily, her eyebrows furrowed, still keeping her eyes closed.

"I have to go," Mina said as she kissed Chaeyoung's lips, “This is too much for me.” The kiss deepened and quickly the air went cold as her lips and her hand left their place on Chaeyoung's face.

She shook her head as she tried to wake herself up, still feeling the exhaustion. Her head and body were heavy. What was Mina talking about? She sat up and rubbed her eyes, "It's late, you can --"

And Mina was gone. Chaeyoung sat on her bed for a moment wondering what the hell was going on. She heard the front door click and she would have bolted outside if she wasn't fully nude. She grabbed her sweater and clumsily put on the first pair of pants she found lying on the ground. She slipped on her flip flops hurriedly, almost missing the slot for her feet and ran outside. Mina wasn't there. She made her way down to the ground floor and then to the parking lot where Mina usually left her car. 

Her car wasn't there anymore. The tire tracks on the thin sheet of snow proved she had just left. The streets were empty and dark and quiet. Her teeth chattered, she didn't realize how cold it was that night as she stood frozen in the parking lot with nothing but her keys and phone in her hand, with just a thin sweater and mismatched pair of pants and flip flops. Mina’s phone didn’t ring when she tried calling her. Number unattended. She was freezing and whatever warmth she had felt earlier was now emptied and hallowed. Just as the snow hitting her skin in numbing pain, Mina had left and she didn't know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ending! I mean it won't end here but sorry still. Also, would appreciate the support at ko-fi (Please check the link on my twitter profile). Any amount no matter how much is greatly appreciated :)


End file.
